Hey, hey! I know I am a day late, but better late than never to talk about being single on Valentine’s Day! After all, people celebrate this holiday sometimes the week after the official Valentine’s “date” in order to get a reservation for a massage or fancy dinner. As a single person, you can celebrate this holiday, too. Valentine’s Day is about love, and YOU are the most important person that you can love. You read that right. By loving yourself, it better equips you to love others.
I remember my last single Valentine’s Day, because it was the one that I realized that I was worth investing in. I got my first tattoo that day, a symbol representing the importance of self-love. I also spent that day with a friend and treated myself to a nice dinner with cheesecake for dessert. This Valentine’s Day was important for me, because in the past I’d given too much to my partners in past dating relationships. This Valentine’s Day taught me to put myself first. I met my now husband a few months later, and I think we might have missed each other if it weren’t for this important mental shift that I made. Here are some tips for how to love yourself, not just on Valentine’s Day, but on other days as well.
- Treat yourself to a nice dinner. You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to do this. I know many singles who are terrified to eat by themselves out in public, but it can actually be very liberating. It also enables you to seem more approachable, and who knows, perhaps you will meet someone the old fashioned way of them approaching you… and them being totally not creepy (because for some reason, meeting someone in public and asking for their number is creepy nowadays with the dawn of online dating being the norm). Don’t get me wrong, there are creepy people out there, but someone approaching you to say hi doesn’t automatically put them in that camp. And if nothing else, even better, you get to enjoy that dang cheesecake!
- Make a journal entry…or seven. Time to dust off that old writing journal from college or high school. Journaling not only helps you track moods such as depression and anxiety, it can help reduce symptoms as well. Journaling can also help you get in touch with what is important to you in the moment. It can be a good place to vent. Start by making a list of journal prompts such as “5 Goals I Want to Accomplish This Year”, “How I Am Feeling Right Now”, “Dating Mistakes of the Past”, or “What I Have Liked About Past Partners”. These types of entries can help you take stock of your life, something that is very important to do before committing your life to someone (if that is your eventual goal).
- Make that appointment you have been putting off. Go to the hair salon. Get that tattoo! Get your nails done (yes, men can love mani/pedis as well)! By taking care of your grooming needs, you are signaling to your brain that YOU are important.
- Send some love to the other important people in your life. Yes, this is an act of self-care, because we need community. We are built for it. Invest in people whom you have no romantic interest in at all. Invite another single person over, or have a video chat if that helps you feel more comfortable during pandemic times.
- Check out moore-vulnerability-counseling.teachable.com . There are several e-courses that you can take to help promote self-awareness and relationship growth. Check out my mini courses that can help you learn your MBTI or Enneagram, or take stock of your past dating patterns with the Past Dating Patterns Assessment. Learn to have difficult conversations about sexuality, family, boundaries, and more! This e-course will prepare you for dating ahead of time. When you are ready, you will be a pro.